Getting Your Thoughts Right

My husband, Doug, loves do-it-yourself projects. He's currently making a couple of cornhole sets for an upcoming youth retreat. Sure, he could buy them online or at a sporting goods store, but what would be the fun in that? He even sewed all the bean bags (technically corn bags, but that just sounds weird) himself with a sewing machine. I can't even use a sewing machine, but now my husband knows how. I teased him that he's becoming a Mr. Martha Stewart, and his clever reply was that he just might make us some Christmas stockings, too.

Often when Doug works on a project he talks to himself out loud. I think it's cute and especially amusing if he's frustrated with himself about some mistake. Of course, I don't let him know this, I just quietly smile and enjoy his "conversations" if I'm within earshot.

I talk to myself a lot, but mostly just in my head. I have internal thought going on all the time. Doug always tells me, "There's a lot going on up there!"

Most writers let us know what's going on in their characters' minds with internal thought. But often in my reviews of manuscripts and proposals, I find authors doing this incorrectly. It has become a pet peeve of mine, actually. :)

Here's what our style guide says on the subject:
"Internal thoughts and prayers not verbally expressed are set in italics and must be in first person present tense."

First person present tense is the key there. That's where I see many writers getting it wrong.

Here's the type of incorrect use I see frequently:
Gulping, Isabel opened her mouth to relay a sarcastic quip, but the words clumped in her throat. What was wrong with her?

Here's the correct way to use italics with internal thought:
Gulping, Isabel opened her mouth to relay a sarcastic quip, but the words clumped in her throat. What is wrong with me?

Incorrect:
Jessica dug through her purse for her cell phone. It had to be in there somewhere.

Correct:
Jessica dug through her purse for her cell phone. It has to be in here somewhere.

So, if you're turning something in to me, please double check your characters' internal thoughts first. That will help me think happy thoughts about your writing :)