Friday, May 22, 2009

Regrets

There are several things I’m sorry for today, so I’ll put them in bullets:

  • I’m sorry for the delay in choosing winners of the Mother’s Day contest. Thanks for all the comments. We do have winners today! I placed the names of all those who commented in Jodi’s hat, and she randomly picked out two winners for me. (See photo below.) They are Lauralee Bliss and Martha Rogers! Congrats! :)
  • I’m also sorry for implying in that post that only elderly folks might need large print books. It was silly of me to word it that way, and I apologize. I’m 27, and when I don’t have my glasses on, even large print books have to be about three centimeters from my nose to read them. So I certainly know that young people can have vision problems, too!
  • I’m sorry I was unable to attend the Colorado Christian Writers Conference last week. I’m sorry if I disappointed people who had appointments scheduled with me. You don’t know how badly I wish I could have been there rather than experiencing the reason I couldn’t attend….
  • …which is the thing I’m most sorry about right now. I had hoped to announce on this blog soon that we were expecting another baby in December--a Christmastime baby, which we were so excited about. But while in Colorado I lost the baby on Mother’s Day, about 6.5 weeks into the pregnancy. My heart is still aching so badly and will probably never fully stop this side of heaven, but I know the pain will ease with time. God has placed amazing, compassionate, praying people around me to help. My husband especially, who while grieving in his own way has been my rock and my hero. And God has been so close. I have been reminded again and again how much I have to be thankful for, including the child I do have here—my precious, healthy, beautiful Jodi. I pray she remains healthy and that I get to meet her little sister or brother long before she does, or better yet that Jesus comes back soon and we get to meet this little one together! :)

I’ll end this with the verses God first brought to my mind after losing the baby. I know this scripture is true for my baby and that this little life that ended so quickly does matter! Please pray that I will continue to seek God and let Him use this experience for His glory.

"For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

39 comments:

NancyMehl said...

Oh, Joanne. I'm so, so sorry. Know that you and your family are in my prayers.

I know this is hard, but your beautiful child is dancing with Jesus. I recently lost someone I loved deeply. God confirmed to me that he is taking good care of those we've lost. Focusing on this truth helps me.

God bless you.

shannon vannatter said...

Dear JoAnne,

I heard about your baby late last week and have been praying for comfort, strength, and peace for you and your family since. I'm so sorry.

Shannon Vannatter

Erica Vetsch said...

JoAnne, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying that God will be near to you as you grieve, and that His peace will comfort you.

Cecelia Dowdy said...

My heart goes out to you, Joanne. With the Lord's help, prayerfully, the ache and pain will fade with time. You and your family will be in my prayers.

PatriciaW said...

Joanne, I'm sorry for your loss and your pain. My prayers are with you.

Ronie Kendig said...

JoAnne, I am so terribly sorry this precious babe was lost. You are so right--GOd has that sweet one and you will see your child again some day! But I know during this time of aching and grieving, those words bring little comfort. Please know I'm praying for you and your family!

Jeannie Campbell said...

joanne - will be praying for you and your loss. God obviously had need of that little one more so in heaven. I pray your heartache will ease with time's passing. thank you for being so candid and honest in a post. we can better pray for each other that way!

Barbara Curtis said...

Oh, Joanne. It was with tears that I read your post. Thank you for sharing with us so that we may hold you close in prayer. What a precious verse God brought to you from His word. How loved your baby is--by your family and by God. With prayers for comfort, that God will be so close to you, that you'll feel His arms wrapped around you in love.
Barbara

Susan Page Davis said...

Joanne, we love you so much! You don't have to worry about details right now. We are all praying for you.

Rosslyn Elliott said...

Dear Joanne,
I've been through the same thing twice. You don't need to worry for a second about little things like conferences. Anyone who knows about what you're going through (and many do) was only concerned about you last week.

I'm still praying for healing and peace for you.

Darlene Franklin said...

Be sure that we missed you and prayed for you in your time of sorrow.

Debby Mayne said...

JoAnne, you and your family are in my prayers. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Sharon Kirk Clifton said...

Dear JoAnne, I don't know you except through this wonderful blog, but my heart and prayers go out to you right now. May God be especially near. May He comfort you and give you His Peace, my sister. Rest in His love and sovereignty. Lean on His bosom and know that He loves that precious little one even more that you do.

CatMom said...

Dear JoAnne,
I was so sorry to read about your loss, and my heart aches for you. Keep leaning on the Lord (as I'm sure you are) and He WILL see you through this sorrowful time. ~ Sending you a big hug, Patti Jo

P.S. Thank you for sharing the precious Jodi picture - - I always smile when I see a picture of her.

Mary Connealy said...

JoAnne, I'm so, so sorry. God bless you. I just don't know what else to say but that...I love you and I'll be praying.

Lisa Harris said...

JoAnne, I'm so sorry to hear about the lost of this sweet child. I know how painful that is, and pray for God's peace and healing in your lives right now.

Caroline said...

My heart is breaking with yours. That must be so very difficult. Your faith will get you through and then the two of you will be reunited. That will be a very sweet day...

On March 16th my sister lost her 19 year old son on the same day our father pass on. Just twenty hours apart. We had many tears to dry and hers just keep coming. She has a very deep faith but that doesn't stop the pain.

Love and hugs and many prayers coming your way.

~C

Christine Lynxwiler said...

JoAnne,
I'm so sorry. I love you, my friend. My prayers are with you and your sweet family.

Susanne Dietze said...

Joanne, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers during this difficult time; may you truly know His comfort and peace. I thank God that we do not grieve like those who have no hope. Praise God that your baby (and mine) are held tightly in the arms of Jesus, and we will one day hold them: what a blessing.

S. Dionne Moore said...

JoAnne,

My heart goes out to you. After giving birth to my first child 3 months prematurely. . .yes, 3 months, she weighed less than two pounds, my husband and I tried again two years later. I was twelve weeks into my pregnancy when I lost that little girl. I still mourn that devastating day, and grieve when I see my first daughter struggling in her walker and knowing that she will never have the companionship of a brother or sister.

Certainly, God is good, and time will heal the deepness of the pain, but I have found that though the surface of the wound has healed, it still kicks up a bad ache during a rainy day, much like an arthritic knee.

My heart cries for your loss.

Linda Ford said...

JoAnne,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know you have my prayers. Hugs.

Linda

Carrie Turansky said...

Dear JoAnne,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious baby. But I am glad to know you have wonderful family and friends to encourage and support you through these challenging days. We lost our first baby in the same way, so I can relate to the loss and heartache. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. May you sense God's arms of love wrapped around you, holding you close.
Carrie

Sandie Bricker said...

Joanne, I lost a baby on Mother's Day myself, many years ago. My heart just ached as I read your post, and I just wanted you to know that you're in my prayers and thoughts. Remember that the Lord knows the thoughts He's thinking toward you and your family right now, and they're thoughts of a future and a hope. May He bless you and keep you as you heal.

JoAnne said...

You are all so wonderful. Thank you SOOO much for your thoughts and prayers. You don't know how much I appreciate them.

Jennifer Johnson said...

JoAnne, I am so sorry. I'm still praying for you and your family.

Aaron McCarver said...

JoAnne,
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. God bless you and your family during this time of loss.

Beth Goddard said...

JoAnne,

I was so sorry to hear the news.
My heart goes out to you and your sweet family. My prayers are with you
Love,
Beth

Danica/Dream said...

JoAnne, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart ached for you when I heard this terrible news at CCWC. You and your family are in my prayers.

Lauralee Bliss said...

I am so terribly sorry for your loss, JoAnne.
Love to you and your sweet family.

Elizabeth Ludwig said...

When my husband and I lost our second child, it was the words of others who had suffered similar trials that brought us comfort. I pray these words will be a balm to your spirit...

God is the Great Physician. He heals all wounds and brings peace to the suffering.

Your heartache will not always be as sharp as it is now. In time, you will think with gladness about the child who awaits you in heaven.

You will know joy and contentment again. As God heals your heart, He will give you a greater appreciation for loved ones in your life.

Love you, JoAnne. May your heart be filled with peace, and may you rest in the love and protection of our Savior and Lord.

Myra Johnson said...

So very sorry, JoAnne. How your heart must be aching! Praying for God's comfort and peace.

Amy Nichols said...

Our hearts and prayers are with you and your family. May you draw strength and courage from your faith and from the love that God surrounds you with.

Amy

Lena Nelson Dooley said...

The premature loss of a child is painful. I know you'll carry this little one close to your heart, but one day, you'll see the face in heaven.

That isn't a lot of consolation right now.

I'll pray for your pain and grief.

Tiffany Amber Stockton said...

Oh, JoAnne, I just heard the news and rushed right over here. It took a liitle bit for the word to get to me, but how my heart aches for you, your husband and little Jodi during this time. Loss of any kind is diificult, but I'm thrilled to hear you have been surrounded by love from family and friends and most importantly, God.

May that embrace and knowing your little one is dancing with Jesus keep you strong and continually hopeful. *hugs* You're in my prayers.

Janice Thompson said...

JoAnne, my heart is broken for you. Thank you for being so vulnerable and for sharing your story with us. You are more than an editor and friend, you are our sister in Christ. Your loss is our loss. We love you -and your family.

Rachel Overton said...

Still in our prayers.

Kim O'Brien said...

Dear JoAnne,

I just read your post and am so so sorry for the loss of your baby. You and your family are in my heart and my prayers. Wish I could do more.

Vickie McDonough said...

JoAnne,

I'm sooo sorry to learn about the loss of your baby. I'm sending you a cyber hug <<< >>> and praying that God will give you extra grace and comfort during this season.

Janet said...

Hi, I just found your blog. I am so sorry for your loss. I feel I can say that I do know how you feel. In 1986 I lost a baby when I was almost 20 weeks pregnant. It was devastating to me, I was under the wrong impression that after the first 3 months you were safe. You will never forget you little baby, and you shouldn't, but it does get easier. Tho family were reluctant to talk to me about it, I found that talking helped. I wanted to talk and remember the baby, because I felt lonely afterwards without the baby growing inside me. Cherish the child you have. I have three, one was born after I lost the baby, and he is very special to me. Love and prayers to you.