Friday, March 30, 2007

Fun for the Weekend

It’s a hectic workday as I try to wrap things up for the week and get out of the office a little early. I’m headed out for a weekend trip down memory lane and to celebrate a new beginning…back to the land of my alma mater, Cedarville University. One of my best friends from college is marrying the guy she has adored—and always blushed bright pink over—since before I met her almost seven years ago. He finally realized it within the past year! Talk about romantic! The Chris Rice song “When Did You Fall?” pretty much sums it up. :) I can’t wait to celebrate her wedding, catch up with old friends, visit the CU campus for old time's sake, do some shopping, and hit the hotel’s indoor pool.

I hope your weekend is great, too. Here are some (real?) high school essay excerpts to start you out laughing. I’m not sure where they originated, but our senior nonfiction editor, Paul Muckley, forwarded these around a few days ago. (There were twenty-four in all, but I’ve narrowed them down to my ten favorites.) They’re a good reminder that sometimes writers can be a little too “creative” with descriptions! I’m trusting I won’t see any like these in Heartsongs! Enjoy! :)
  • Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
  • She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
  • She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
  • From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 PM instead of 7:30.
  • Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 PM traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 PM at a speed of 35 mph.
  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
  • He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

6 comments:

Erica Vetsch said...

One of my favorites from among these 'gems' is the one that says:

Her vocabulary was as bad as...whatever. :)

Hope your weekend is terrific.

Cathy West said...

That was too funny!
And I LOVE that song!! Sigh.
I wish I were attending such a wedding...indeed, the stuff books are written about!

The Write Life said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Write Life said...

'The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.'

These are hilarious! But the one above actually captures a personality very well.

I wonder if the students wrote these for a laugh...or in all seriousness?

Thanks for sharing and have a great time at that romantic wedding. Totally sweet!

I had to delete my first comment and re-post to fix an error. Is there any way to edit a post without doing this? I thought there used to be a button for correcting typos. I'll preview from now on to catch things before they're posted...

Mary Connealy said...

Great way to start a Monday morning, with a laugh. I've seen lists like this before. As long as they're not coming out of books that are being submitted to Barbour.

Mary Connealy said...

My picture vanished. Just reposting to see if I've fixed it.